This woman is having surgery tomorrow on her right shoulder. She will be one-armed for at least three months following surgery. She plays on a world renowned senior softball league. She plays Rook pretty darn well. She makes a mean pot of beans & cornbread. But most importantly, she is my fun sister-in-law Connie. Here are a few surgery tips from your loving family:
1. Wake up from surgery smiling! The nurses will like you better.
2. Do NOT tell the doctor you have gas, even if you do. Exercise the "silent but deadly" rule!
3. An hour after surgery, scream bloody murder and page the doctor to find out why your leg is in a cast instead of your arm?!
4. Don't pay any attention to the nurses chattering about you. Just yell out "What do you mean, you want a divorce?" and that will scatter the crowd.
5. When a nurse asks "How is your pain?" say: "Quick, go to surgery.com, scroll down and click on PAIN and let me know what you get!"
6. For goodness sake, keep the back end of your hospital gown closed!
7. Ask a nurse if you can see the "jello menu" for today's dinner selection.
8. Finally, and most importantly, remember to bring home the piece of glass in your arm as a souvenir from this surgery party.
GET WELL SOON!